We’re stepping back,
talking logic in adult stance.
You want to give it another chance
I want to leave you with your heart intact
(the alphabetical way I found it).
I want to make my room smell like Cedarwood and Cloves;
sit there alone
without your common-senses,
your unsure thoughts; words of level-headedness.
I want to pour myself a cup of pumkin spice coffee,
mixed with Grade B maple syrup and raw chocolate.
I don’t want to watch you,
wonder if you want all of me,
or just the pretty parts that seem so breezy.
You’re so gorgeous, you get any girl of your choice.
I want to sit here with my pen and feel tragic,
think about you in my head
remembering our nights of dancing-magic.
You think I’m spoiled,
you think my hearts spun of magic,
you think my permagrin smile never drops off a cliff and collapses—
you don’t know me,
i planned this perfect.
I’m willing to give you away with no trace
of run down mascara
I’m ready to say goodbye knowing there’s millions of fish in the sky,
billions of stars twinkling when i let loose my pen
of story book enchantment.
You’re just a boy—
but i’ve flown with dragons,
danced on stages with prestigious famous creatures
You like me so much. You’ve never kissed anyone
this way, “what have you done to me?”, you say…
I know what this is. I know what this is not…
so why do you keep acting, like you care so much?
i just want you to go away, stop making me feel i’m somehow special
when you’re too afraid to rearrange your world
to keep me in it.
You want me to keep my training-wheels on
so you don’t feel so frightened.
You want me to watch
as you arrange your life by lines and numbers
Yet I’m too close to getting
Everything I ever dreamed of
to be sitting on a fence undressed and waiting
for your life to line up the way
society has told you it’s supposed to.
Take your ideals of the perfect life
I’m taking the freedom you felt on the dance floor
all those nights
I’m whispering goodbye
Without any real good reason why
Because to me
you are near perfect
And that’s just the way I want to leave you
before our hurt feelings bruise
I know I can let you go
I just don’t know what to do with that feeling I felt
dancing, twirling, laughing
having the time of our lives…