Who is he?
January 27, 2013 §
How do I feel? I cannot tell you. My blood is electricty.
He sucked out my soul and wrote his brilliance upon it.
He blew it back, preventing breath, choking me—I cannot be the same.
He named the person I loved, after I told him I’d never been in love. How?
I’ve never met one like him. He challenged me. He wants me to be better, more than I want it.
He sees me through eyes of a King, viewing his Queen— I know I am a gypsy, he sees a prize.
My iron will is birthed under his spell.
Insecurities suffocated with just one joke.
Who is he? Who am I?
I am not who I was… I am so much more, than ever imagined.
He is the man inside, I have never seen, yet always known, always prized, always wanted to be,
and now, I watch his life-form tick in front of me, I see my world unraveling with the speed of a jet plane.
Everything is changing too fast. I know I will not stay the same.
“This is the best day of your life“, he said. Yes. Yes, he said it before I knew it.
Everything I’ve known will be dissolved. My brains conditioning, rebuilt.
Who is he? He is me.
The ‘me’ i didn’t know I could be… before he sucked out my soul and re-wrote each rhyme.
I’m afraid. Freedom is frightening. I don’t want to be everything I can be.
I will be too much. Such success will smother my breezy limited beliefs. I’ll have to accept my talent, my brilliance.
I’ll have to say yes to myself over and over. I’ll have to not look back. I’ll have to give up so much. This hurts already.
I wasn’t ready for this. I don’t want this change— but I’ll take it, with my heart cut wide open.
How fierce is my newborn iron will? How strong is this stranger inside of me?
Tagged: challenge me, play, success
[…] Who is he?. […]
Such a great many lines…could this be about pregnancy, or have I interpreted this inaccurately and lost the plot entirely?
haha oh no. not about pregnancy! 🙂
I’d like to add that I’ve never been pregnant :]
who is he? hmm its the devil inside me….
Enjoy the journey 🙂
Thanks Carolyn. I shall 😉
I know a woman who is me. Not IRL alas. I refer to Lucy Snowe in Charlotte Brontë’s Villette.
This is brilliant. How many of us have felt this way as the person we truly are begins to emerge…and they look nothing like we thought they should.
If anyone can survive the catharsis, it will be you, with your brilliance and perspicacity and love for life. You’re like a modern-day Isolde. 😉
Awe haha I love that, thank you…I love that word ‘perspicacity’ !
This is absolutely breathtaking writing, It speaks of awesome things, as many of us can only dream of. Thank you.
WOW. That makes my day, thank you.
You’re very welcome.
Reblogged this on Heartafire's Blog.
So awesome…I have reblogged this to Heartafire with all credit to you.
This one is really good. Great work.
Oh I see, at first, I thought you are talking about pregnancy until I see a commentator asked you. 🙂