A Man of Steel and Velvet: Top 12 Qualities of the Ideal Man

May 10, 2013 § 18 Comments

“A woman’s security does not lie in money her partner  earns. She finds it in him as a person of character and dependability.” —Aubrey Andelin

♠ Steel Qualities ♣

  1. Guide, protector, provider
  2. Builder of society
  3. Masculinity
  4. Character
  5. Confidence
  6. Health
The steel side of a man makes women and children feel secure. Arouses admiration of all. Makes women feel womanly.

♥ Velvet Qualities ♥

  1. Understands women
  2. Gentleness
  3. Attentiveness
  4. Youthfulness
  5. Humility
  6. Refinement
The velvet side of a man promotes good human relations among all people. Awakens love in women and children.
When a man has both Steel and Velvet qualities, it brings him peace, happiness and fulfillment.
“In this land every man is, by divine right, his own king; he is his own jury, his own counsel, his own judge, and, if it must be, his own executioner…in this land a man, to live,  must  be  a  man.” —Harold Bell Wright

P.S. I’d like to add Don Draper (of Mad Men) is NOT the ideal man. In fact, he is a gorgeous shell of a vacant man. Although I would give my right arm to have him push me into his office corner and passionately KISS ME BRAINLESS… the excitement of this empty man would last but a minute, as there is nothing more unattractive than a man void of character and unable to own who he is as a man.

***This is taken from the book Man of Steel and Velvet, by: Aubrey Andelin


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§ 18 Responses to A Man of Steel and Velvet: Top 12 Qualities of the Ideal Man

  • mkesling63 says:

    I wouldn’t lower myslef to a kiss. Once they open that ugly mouth I am done. They become the ugliet thing. Very nice post though very well done. They are out there I was lucky enough to find that needle in a huge haystack. It is Huge haystack with very few needles too. However times change. So maybe in a few years the needles will outgrow the haystacks. Then women will have to catch up then.


  • mkesling63 says:

    Number two is the only wrong one that turns it all bad. HAd to read it agian. A great poem. I build my own society. Let them build it and it all just goes bad. Just one big bitch sesson. Women need to let go of 2 and pick that up for themselves or stop the bitching. Minus number two is my needle. He builds his and I build mine. It is called personal boundries. Let them, can’t complain about it.


    • LOL, true, “society”? I keep trying to muck that old thing up! A few of these are transitory states, “youthfulness” and possibly “health”, but a man of steel and velvet will remain so even when these things have left.


      • mkesling63 says:

        I like them all. I think it is a great poem. Not bad when you don’t like just one thing. It just happens to be a bg thing I see. I am one of the lucky ones here.


      • I like the poem too, don’t get me wrong! But having been lucky enough to have found a wonderful man, we’ve both stuck to each other through times where health has been a problem, plus we’re neither of us 21 anymore 😉 so it kind of gives me a wider perspective on those two parts and what happens when Time throws in a few changes.


  • Don Draper says:

    this raises my self esteem to new bounds!


  • primalnights says:

    I need to put this list in my wallet.


  • Randall says:

    I lost your blog address Coco. I found it again. I always did enjoy your posts. I have to admit I fall short at times on these top 12. But I really try.
    Thanks for sharing..reminders are good for us all guys.

    I would like to invite you to my new website/blog at Fun with Food ( http://www.savorthefood.com/blog ).

    We would appreciate your readership.

    I am glad I found your blog again..so I am looking forward to more from Coco J. Ginger Says…:)



  • Great post. I am sure there must be a golden middle, like steel man wrapped in velvet or vice versa. Have a good one!


  • Gaseimasha says:

    Very well. I shall call you when I’ve achieved them all. 🙂


  • Tatsat says:

    So much to do, so little done…
    Do women really care for all this?
    (I am someone who is perplexed at the age of 27+, almost on the cusp of giving up on marriage)


  • makagutu says:

    Few men understand themselves, fewer still understand women. In this case then such men must be very rare!


  • Waverider1 says:

    NFW! I read that book in my early 20’s, though I wasn’t a conservative Christian (like the author — within every philosophical/theological system, no matter how ‘extreme’, there are nuggets of deep wisdom, no?). It helped me immensely to a) understand the concept of ‘balance’ in developing/honing my persona, and b) understand how ‘real’ women think and feel. Awesome!
    I have lived in that ‘land’ now for quite a while. I am pleased to note that all the above-mentioned qualities were incorporated into my BEingness long ago (tho that one called ‘humility’ is still a slight challenge on occasion, LOL), and that I AM my own king and ruler, period, keep my own counsel in ALL matters, don’t give a rat’s arse what others think, either of me or my ‘crazy ideas’. No guts, no glory. . . . and no joy of earned sovereignty, either!
    I am stunned to see a post on this book, this issue. Blown away. I have never been so impressed with a blogger on so many counts in such a short span of time. WOW. Go Coco!!!


    • I’m honored.thanks friend.i love this book. It has given me a goal for what I want in a man. 😉 I’m quite impressed you’ve read it. I don’t think they even print it anymore.


      • Waverider1 says:

        Um, then how did YOU get a hold of it, Ms. ‘Only REAL Men Need Apply’??? LOL. I bought it new (dating myself a bit here, huh) when it was on a list of ‘recommended reading’, along with numerous self-help/attitude books, for members of a very conservative business orgaization I belonged to at that time. Life takes many bizarre twists and turns for us trail blazer/nonconformist types . . . .


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