Manipulate You

You want me to be a tragic backdrop..

…so that you can appear to be illuminated, so that people can say ‘Wow, isn’t he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously sad?’ You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I’ll swallow you whole.
-Warsan Shire

Love and Hate?

“Love sees sharply;
hatred sees even more sharp.
But jealousy sees the sharpest —

your little sister

One day, your little sister is going to fall for a man who is not kind…
who’s intentions are not pure, a man who treats  her with disregard and disrespect.

You’re going to hate this man. You’re going to want to destroy him. You’ll wonder how one could run off such cowards blood. And in that moment of hate for this man, I hope you remember
you were that same man
to me.

So   instead of looking  him in the eyes, look back at yourself in the mirror—you are the man you now HATE.

Tell yourself, “I don’t care“,  just like you said it to me,  say it [again] for me, for your little  sister, for the man who will treat your sister that way— someday. Tell me how it feels to know your sister is being treated  that way and you are looking at her as she looks at him tears in her eyes begging for sympathy, praying to hold composure, asking God to grant her grace to restrain the fear and keep her pride, and tell us all     YOU DON’T CARE.

Now we all know— you don’t care, you never did, you never will…

but I do— and she does too.

Maybe she’s me, or maybe   I was her. But you’re just that same man, that same man who doesn’t care…

but I did— and she will too.

He loves me with his hate.

He loves me.   He loves me with his hate.

Funnier

“Everything is funnier in retrospect,
funnier and prettier and cooler.

You can laugh at anything from far enough away.”  —Chuck Palahniuk

the white noise…

 ..in his heart, the sum of all his colors

       —the metronome to which he beat

                                                 [was she].

A 50-Word Story a Day Keeps the Boredom Away

Guest Post Special #4 Coco J. Ginger.

Light (my poem of happy)

Can I not breathe without you? Can I not dream without you?

I feel weightless- I’m dressed in silk
The suffocating wool has disappeared
I’m wearing yellow with lace and frills
My smile is white; my tongue dances behind each word
I leap from hour to hour
I dance without a stage
There is no audience
no judge
no costume or masks to be seen
I sing aloud
There is no danger of a flat note or a harmed ear
All the risks have been taken
Allowing me room to fly

Can I not breathe without you? Can I not dream without you?

I finally live
I am fully alive
Each finger composing an inexperienced song
A new life
I sing so readily, so decidedly

Is it true?
Is it fair to feel so warm?
Is this sunlight really all my own
May I bask beneath this joy?
Can I run without a guide?

Each bar that held me in place
Each brick that kept me cold
Has left
I seem to be alone
Alone in the glory of this new light
This new place
It is mine
It is all mine

I fear he needs me
I fear he needs my hand for strength
But my feet are swift
My limbs resist
The fatal temptation to re-track
To my prison
To my past

Eyes are bright
Salt tears have formed a castle
Which is a learned satisfaction
I see an orange up in a tree
I want it
So I take it
I taste it
It brings me pure delight
Small satisfaction
Little interactions of what now
does matter

Can I not breathe without you? Can I not dream without you?

I linger in this rain
I feel so overwhelmed with
Each splash
The puddles are forming fast
This moment soon will pass
I must make the most of each drop
Exploding on the slipping street
There are no words for this joy
A fresh tear fills my eye

Who am I
To deserve this second chance at life?

All my fears are not overcome
But my life has just begun

Can I not breathe without you? Can I not dream without you?

No-
So
I walk past you and find
Life after death
A fresh breath
A new scent
An awakened smile
I realize
I never knew how to live
I could never dance like this before
And everything I held so dear
Has slowly faded away

Can I not breathe without you? Can I not dream without you?

I raise my eyes towards the sky
My hands are open wide
My heart begins to pursuit
The depths of all this passion
I can barely regain my stature
I am left startled and changed
Things will never be the same
And as my height transforms
I say

Thank you
You gave me courage to breathe without
You taught me how to dream without
And without
I am offered what I once did doubt

And finally
I am ready to be

just because she’s breakable…

..does not mean she’s broken  (that fighting little fool, that queenly lass of rebel rules, that darling goddess of wicked words, that loyal lover of Fairy Tale worlds).

Her beauty rests, her mind it rests, her heart surrenders; her body smiles while she slumbers (that gifted girl, that priceless devil, that fearless fiend).

Goodnight, goodnight, she falls down under  (she’s hanging free, at liberty).